A guest post by John Planter – with tongue firmly in cheek…..
Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.
AND yes … it was discovered in Great Britain , which is now the leading producer.
The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.