I am the very model of a European functional

The following was sent to me by UKIP PPC for Hendon, Jeremy Zeid (Pictured below), reprinted  for your enjoyment.

If he fails to become MP for Hendon, a career on radio comedy shows surely awaits!

Jeremy Zeid

I am the very model of a European functional,

We use tax-paid propaganda to control you peasants, plebs and proles,

I make up pointless regulations and I quote the rules historical,

To Regions and to Governments, of these I’m categorical,

I’m extremely well acquainted with procedures bureaucratical,

It’s all about the power and the rest of you don’t mattical,

About economic theory, I have really very simple views,

That money earned by others is for us to confiscate and use



I’m very good at telling you how everything is bad for us,

Forget the science, we know best, how dare you deign to make a fuss,

In short in matters structural, political and cultural

I am the very model of a European functional


Trashing Britain’s noble history is not seen to be a paradox,

A confusing voting system that’s reflected at the Ballot Box,

I use stygian statistics to divert you from the Budget sums

The truth if told, would see us tossed out on our bums,

You’ll hear the constant chorus of how we need to have green energies

And wonder why nowt happens when we overtax utilities

The lights go out and industry heads for the door

Labour signed us up to Europe’s pointless, stupid carbon trading laws


Commission papers would be clearer printed out in ancient cuneiform,

Assumptions made that EU countries needs are strictly uniform,

In short in matters structural, political and cultural

I am a prime example of a European functional


I lecture you about the emptying of wheelie bins

We’re obsessed with waste and windmills, no surprise at all the fly tippings

We think you work for us when it’s the other way it should be at

An authoritarian self-aggrandizing, sclerotic commissariat

We push you round, you get annoyed at all the Euro-flummery

The infrastructure falls to bits while we grab all your monery

In short, these are deliberate and calculated strategies

Keeps you insecure and vetoless, mere parliamentary satrapies


Politically, we’re dog-ged and we’re ever so ambitiony

With Euro-socialism and the fact it’s so last century

In short in matters structural, political and cultural

I am the very apex of a European functional


You think you are a model modern sovereign state that’s national

With Lisbon signed, you handed over power on a plat-ional

Most vetoes gone to QMV, your government now does what it’s told

Obey our rules or you’ll be fined and in the cold

You’ve no say on the influx of the EU immigrational

Despite the economic hit that’s both harmful and inflational

Westminster cannot change the way in which to Brussels we relate

There’s only one sure way to stop the creeping EU superstate


Voting UKIP is the only way to repossess our sovereignty

An in/out Referendum is exactly where we need to be

For matters British, structural, political and cultural

We have to ditch the culture of the European functional



For matters British, structural, political and cultural

We need to end the nightmare of the European Functional

Harrow by election with Jeremy Z


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