A Scottish soldiers tale

One for my Scottish friends, sent to me by a customer…..


Scottish soldier


A  Scottish Soldier in full dress uniform marches into a  chemist  shop. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a  neatly  folded cotton bandana, unfolds  it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also  unfolds to  reveal a  condom.

The condom has a number of patches on  it. The  chemist  holds it up and eyes it critically.

“How   much to repair it?” the Scot asks the chemist.

“Six  pence,” says the chemist.

“How  much for a new one?”

“Ten  pence” says the  chemist.

The  Scot painstakingly folds the  condom into the silk square  handkerchief and the  cotton bandana,  replaces it carefully in his sporran and  marches out of  the  door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.

A  moment or two later  the chemist hears a great shout go up  outside, followed by an even  greater  shout. The  Scottish soldier marches back into the  chemist and addresses the  proprietor, this  time with a grin on  his face.

“The  regiment has taken a vote,”  he says. “We’ll  have a new  one.”


2 comments on “A Scottish soldiers tale

  1. e Blois says:

    Ukip’s finished after Farage called for Syrian refugees to be let in. Trying to change it to ‘Christian Syrians’ later when people were saying they wouldn’t vote for him, just made it worse. It showed that he’ll say anything for a vote.

    • Cliff Dixon says:

      Nigel spoke of taking a maximum of 500 families – Because of the persecution of Christians in the middle east, they would not be able to successfully take refuge in the nearest available countries so his position is consistent with UN humanitarian policy.
      However, with many families on ever increasing waiting lists for affordable housing I can understand why some would disagree with his statement – We have 9000 on the list in Hillingdon, and my own family have had to move after being outbid on our existing private rentals at the end of contract by housing associations with refugees to house on priority backed with housing benefit money.
      More needs to be done to house those in need from our existing community, which is the fault of the government and not genuine refugees. Personally, I would look at the additional homes that our MP’s don’t use for large parts of the year and ask them to do their bit to help whilst the situation stabilizes and Syria becomes safe enough for those families to return to their homeland.

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